It would be interesting to chronicle the state of the world on the off chance that everything in it would be made right per the demands and expectations of today’s activists, social justice warriors, and champions of Social Progress. This was done in a speech by Louis Farrakhan, head of the Nation of Islam, in a commencement address delivered at the University of Chicago, at which he was presented with an Honorary Doctorate in Racial Harmony.
· All climate change deniers and skeptics were executed, as advocated for years the Secret Society of the Global Warming Collect, by professional hangmen and executioners hired from ISIS. The first executions were presided over by Al Gore, former vice-president of the old U.S. European culprits were transported to Raqqah, the capital of the Islamic State Caliphate, and dispatched there with graphic footage broadcast to Europe. The experienced executioners there made short work of the liars and falsifiers and acolytes of false science. North American culprits were transported to Death Valley, California, and ISIS executioners were flown in to perform their service. The guilty had been hunted down and rounded up by the combined forces of the European-Islamic Police, of the Special Multi-Gender Law Enforcement Force, and of the American Federal Bureau of Intolerance (FBI) in coordinated raids and dragnets. Once the deniers were gone, all was made right in the world, and the world breathed easier.
· To the resounding cheers and excellently choreographed Maypole dances of environmentalists of every age and color everywhere, the Environmental Protection Agency seized all private property and land in America and imposed rigorous controls on the former owners (now reduced to the status of tenant farmers) governing the use of the new federal possessions. The rules were so all-encompassing and strict that the tenants were unable to produce or grow much of anything, but were blamed for dragging their feet. Trained, armed, and experienced former Bureau of Land Management personnel were empowered to police the land and to punish violators. Thousands of tenant farmers were incarcerated in special FEMA camps, called Spotted Owl Campuses, in Nevada and Illinois and put on short rations. These new felons were also subjected to reeducation courses and new dietary regimes. And all was made right with the world, and a New Earth Day was proclaimed.
· President Bernie Sanders presided over the free distribution of just about everything, including college education, food, personal grooming products, and gas rations. His taxing of major and middle income corporations and small businesses at 99% was intended to pay for the program, but when IRS personnel appeared at these venues, in many instances they found nothing but closed doors or vacant premises. The Bureau of Printing and Engraving announced a “temporary” halt in printing all the new money because of shortages of the proper paper and of the necessary chemicals and inks, while the Treasury Department also announced a halt in the mailing of “Freedom Checks” to everyone because of a shortage of paper on which to print the checks. Suppliers of the currency and check paper to the BPE and the Treasury Department were sued. But President Sanders said the setbacks were just a “blip.” He was also quoted as saying, “You can't make an omelet without breaking heads.” One person was arrested and sentenced by a kangaroo court to twenty years of hard labor for having been overheard to say to a friend in private that President Sanders “not only needed a walker to get to the john but also for his brain.” Still, all was made right in the world and bad-mouthers were taken out of circulation, resulting in a significant drop in aural pollution.
· The inauguration of the new federal Multi-Gender Police (the MGP) was feted by former U.S. President Barack Obama during a special ceremony in Seattle. The new law enforcement tool was expected to work closely with the re-tailored FBI. The MGP’s ranks were filled with heterosexuals, homosexuals, lesbians, trans-genders, and people of unclassified orientation. True to Barack Obama’s anti-gun philosophy, the troops were armed with only tasers, electronic batons, modified cattle prods, and katanas. Cleverly designed uniforms, modeled after samurai fighting armor, disguised the gender identity of each policeperson. However, during its first assignment, the MGP retreated from a food riot in Philadelphia, resulting in half the city being burnt down, its spokesperson saying that sending the MGP into combat violated the “safe spaces” of many of its members who weren’t quite ready to impose law and order. It also claimed that many thousands of lives were saved by the MGP’s non-intervention in the looting, destruction, and occasional killing. Still, all was made right in the world, as there was no more police brutality.
· English was demoted from being the official lingua franca of the U.S. Callers to various federal agencies, bureaus, and “crony” corporations were asked to “Press 1 for Arabic, Press 2 for Spanish, Press 3 for English.” Advertising and billboards (where they were permitted) had to communicate in Arabic and Spanish first, with tiny English subtitles. And all was made right in the world, and illiteracy was no longer a social stigma.
· The Islamic State of America reached a detente with the Hispanic Speakers Alliance and Latino Lives Matter that would allow members of the three entities free and unharassed existence in addition to free movement to and from their particular spheres of influence. The truce was made necessary because it was expected that most Mexicans would refuse to submit to Islam or become Muslims (most of them being Catholics, Jehovah’s Witnesses, and Baptists), and Muslims would refuse to become apostates, and a civil war was imminent. It was mutually agreed that violence could be visited only on whites and other infidels and non-Hispanics. And all was made right in the world, and everyone breathed easier, except for the disenfranchised.
· White privilege was abolished under the guidance of Alicia Garza, Patrisse Cullors, and Opal Tometi, Black Lives Matter founders, with the guidance of Melissa Click, the former University of Missouri professor who accosted a student journalist. A federal law was passed compelling all whites to wear the letter “W” sewn on their clothing when in public. Jews were compelled to wear the letters” WJ” on their clothing when in public. Whites were compelled to defer rights of way to blacks on streets, restaurants, bars, laundromats, and in other public places. Blacks were permitted to “knock out” whites with impunity and without penalty. College history courses were stripped of all formal “white” history and replaced with black, Mexican, Islamic, and LGBT histories. Emulating the Saudi religious police, the Trayvon Martin Brigade was created and was given the responsibility of enforcing black privilege on whites, assisted by the MPG. White school children were required to learn “jive” and “blacklish,” while the speaking of Standard English was outlawed and violators were sentenced to 100 lashes with a whip or cane, whatever was handy. Whites were not permitted to assemble in groups larger than four. Classical music was banned, and also Elvis and Frank Sinatra. The MPG and FBI were tasked with rooting out white “samizdat” that circulated old classic texts and scheduled secret concerts, homeschooling, get-togethers, social gatherings, and lectures in basements. The Statue of Liberty in New York Harbor was dynamited, and replaced with a giant black tower that some said resembled a penis, but which was denied by its federally-funded sculptor. And all was made right in the world, and everyone breathed easier, because whiteness was now out of sight.
· As in Islamic Europe, a vigorous drive was made to submerge “white” culture beneath the lead-weight of “polypolitical” culture, if not altogether obliterate it. Street names were changed to Arabic, Latino, or African names. Germany and Sweden were entirely defoliated of Germanic and Nordic character. “White” art was banished from public view, statues and paintings depicting whites were destroyed, and museums were denuded of all vestiges of “white” supremacy. Scandinavian, German, and French women were required to “cover up” per Islamic rules, and also to expose themselves to Turkish, Syrian, Somalian, and African “citizens” on request and to submit without protest to their desires (complaints earned such women who complained stiff fines and jail sentences). European males were required to wear abbreviated tutus to better identify them to the new “citizens” and were a not permitted to fight back when attacked without incurring automatic counter-charges of assault and intent to commit riot and bodily harm. And all was made right in the world, and no one was reminded of the oppressive past of Western cultural imperialism.
· Israel was destroyed by two Iranian nuclear devices. Eager Palestinians rushed to “occupy” the areas that were once “occupied” by the Jewish state, although thousands of them died of radiation exposure when they marched into the wasteland and attempted to settle there. All Jewish males, regardless of age, in areas not affected by the nuclear bombs, were rounded up and executed; all Jewish women, regardless of age, were executed in separate camps. Attractive Jewish women and girls were selected to serve in special “comfort” centers for the Palestinian elite. Arabs who had cooperated with or were on good terms with Jews were identified and killed. Resistance to ethnic cleansing and slavery earned instant death. Clouds of radiation, however, wafted from the wastelands in shifting winds and caused millions of deaths and illnesses in Egypt, Jordan, Gaza, and Iran. Radiation was also detected in North Africa, felling or sickening thousands. Yet, all was right with the world, as the Little Satan was at last consigned to nuclear flames.
Not counting the eradication of diseases, inventing electricity, cars, etc.
· The Internet was taken over by the federal government, as well as telephone and all other electronic means of personal communication, and run as regulated public services (when it was working). One could no longer in private conversation call Muslim women in America fat, ugly, and sweaty; one could no longer call Mexico’s culture second-rate; one could no longer aver that the libidos of LGBTs were in corrosive limbos, without being hauled into court and sentenced to five years hard labor for using offensive language and for offending the feelings of protected minorities (which were no longer numerical minorities, but now empowered ones). Informants were everywhere. The only individuals who could not be charged with racism, bigotry, discrimination, hate crimes, and other such crimes were Muslims, Latinos, and blacks. Only whites could commit hate crimes and hate speech. Whites were encouraged to feel shame for being white, and guilt for crimes committed by their ancestors hundreds of years before. This act of contrition resembled in action and in speech the Muslim shadada or expression of insignificance and submission, and was the brainstorm of Anjem Choudary, a British Islamic agitator and provocateur. It was modified from the traditional Muslim shadada for infidels to practice penance for even existing. And the world was made right, when infidels and unbelievers offered their necks to the sword…..
Of course, you must realize that by the time all these and other conditions could be met, the world’s population would exist in a pronounced tatterdemalion state, all the things they were counting on having perished or been eliminated or been outlawed. The world would stand still and be left in a smoking ruin, with great masses staring into the void that their their social justice warriors, environmentalists, LGBT champions, diversity dilettantes, economic levelers and egalitarians, gender neuterers, and climate changers had created. All people would be left with is the chance to gnaw on bones, or on each other.
The world would be made right – according to the nihilists and to the gospel of Immanuel Kant.