"I won't ever even jaywalk again." [AP]
--Convicted environmental terrorist William Jensen Cottrell, trying to weasel out of being thrown into the slammer. According to the AP U.S. District Judge R. Gary Klausner sentenced Cottrell to more than eight years in federal prison and ordered him to pay $3.5 million in restitution for an August 2003 vandalism spree that damaged and destroyed about 125 SUVs at dealerships and homes in the San Gabriel Valley east of Los Angeles.
The only disappointment in this story is that two of Cottrell's accomplices have yet to have been brought to justice, having fled the country in order to avoid arrest.